Pages

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

India is not a Great Country, and I am responsible for it…!!!



The title must have raised the eyebrows of yours but I will explain you why did I title it like that?
When we talk about Democracy, Democracy means the Rule of People. Every Individual should think feel that he’s the King or Queen. But along with it come Responsibilities. Just as we have Fundamental Rights in the section 51-A of our Constitution mentions that we have Fundamental Duties also. We never refer to that. Most of the people don’t even know that something like that exists in our Constitution. 
Some people say that I should write that “It’s everybody’s fault”. To which I say, “When I say Everybody, my responsibility reduces. When I take it upon myself and I believe every citizen should feel responsible for the flaws in India’s Democracy and the problems facing it.

Dear Reader, I had like to ask you, when we talk about corruption, we invariably blame our leaders or the administration, IAS officers or IPS officers, we say that they are corrupt. As if we are very clean. Is it right?? The people find it interesting to say that corruption should stop. But to do that, we will have to struggle. When we say that, we are the rulers, the rulers will have to do something. In my opinion, it has so happened, that we have become lazy citizens.

In my own observation, I have discovered that every Indian spends 8 hours a month just complaining. The roads are bad; the police take bribes. A particular Chief Minister is like that. The Prime Minister is quiet and all stuff. We say different things. I ask many people, you do this every month for 8 hours, Has it changed anything? The reply is No. I ask them Can It Bring about change? Again the reply is no. Then I ask them why they do it? Anyways, let them do it. But what do I do? Have I tried to do anything that would bring about some change in the country? I sat, at least for two hours in a month decide to do some work keeping the country in mind. If not anything else, just file an RTI application about something that is troubling you. It does make some difference. I believe that those who are proud of India, will have to do something. “Jinhe Naaz hain Hind par, Hindustan par, unhe kuch to karna padega.”

Democracy is said to government of the people, for the people and by the people. I don’t see such government, if I go looking. So what is this? Just we vote, just because there’s a Constitution, we claim to be in a Democracy. In fact, it’s a Vote-Shahi and not Lok-Shahi. Because, if I take the current political scenario, what is the argument doing the rounds? Some say Narendra Modi will fix things. Some say Arvind Kejriwal will, others say Rahul Gandhi or Nitish Kumar will. That’s the discussion. Nobody talks about that they will do. We say that we are in a democracy, but we are looking for a Messiah. There will be no Messiah. In a democracy, all of us will have to work. If we do not work, it will not be democracy. If want our country to improve, then it is our duty to improve our government. If we do not do it and continue to criticize, it is not going to make a difference.

I will once again say that it’s our fault as we don’t take the responsibility. Someone said this, “When I woke up, I looked at myself in the mirror. I tried to wipe the dust off the mirror and I kept trying. It was evening, yet I couldn’t get the dust off the mirror. It was night when I realized, that the dust was on my face, not the mirror.

People say that nothing can be done. Nothing can happen in our country. I tell this people, when you visit Temples, Mosques or Churches and come out, Do you find something in your pocket? Is there more money in your purse? Or do you start looking more handsome or beautiful? It does not happen. Then, why do people do it? Its’s out of Faith. You don’t see any direct result. What do we do for the country out of faith? NOTHING. At least try, just as a matter of faith. Think that, for our country, we will take up a cause. And pursue the cause, whether or not we succeed.

Let each one of us take up an issue however small it is, make it our own, nurture it and pursue it till it is solved. Then our country could definitely be much better.

I would change the title to “My India may not be great, but it will be and I will be responsible for it…!!! ”

Monday, 7 March 2016

The Power of Women…!!!


Let me start off with Wishing everybody a Happy Women’s Day. In my humble opinion, we do not need and we should not have a day for celebration for women. Because it itself brings a dichotomy among us, the Humans.

But as we and the world celebrates a day for women across the world, let me draw some important points which shows the power with which the women are bestowed. A woman plays a role of a Baby, a Wife, Mother, a Mother in Law, a Sister, a Sister in Law, a Grandmother at different stages of life. This it-self has some sort of animosity for example, at one place where she is loved as a Daughter but suddenly bitched about where she is Daughter in Law. But then, I live in India where there are very high standards to treat women lower to the Men (Funny).

We Indians will fight for our religion and all for what we eat. For example, some people fight against Killing of Cow which is right in first place because Cow is worshipped as a mother in the religion. The problem of India is, we consider Cows as our mother, our country India as our mother, we shall kill and beat the shit out of somebody when somebody does anything to Cows and our India but when it comes to our own Mother or Daughter, we do not respect them. I am sure that some of the people of the country do respect the Female gender in any which way but Majority doesn’t and that’s my outrage for today. Why do we need to think before Respecting them? Are we in any which way superior to the other gender? Do we have superiority complex? Actually we have Inferiority complex that if we respect them and let them freely do what they want to, they will succeed in every field with us. You want Examples? Read below the power of women that has been enriching the state of Gujarat all this years. I am talking about Gujarat because that’s where I belong from and all this years I have experienced and noticed the POWER of WOMEN in every field.

 

1.    There is small village in Gujarat near city the spiritual city of Dakor. Due to reservation system, for one term of its Gram Panchayat, the Sarpanch (Panchayat Head) had to be a Woman. Also one third of the elected members had to be women. Now, to the surprise, the people of the village decided to give all the seats of the Gram Panchayat to Women and let them run the administration of the village for next five years. This was a sheer surprise because it was first time in the history of Gujarat that an entire 5 years term was to be fulfilled by only women. The village got a great luck ahead and the per capita income of that Village almost doubled. This is the proof that, apart from Businesses, Cooking, women are good at Administration too. Looking at this great thought, the Government of Gujarat announced a special status for all those Gram Panchayats who put all members as Women for the entire term. You all would be glad to know that there are 300 Villages today where the administration are run wholly by women and they are flourishing.

 

2.    Just give a thought. Can small shop of grocery can sustain against the Multinational chains of Super Stores? Take Pizza Hut as an example, can a small Haath Gaadi of Pizza sustain against Pizza Hut? No it cannot. But I shall give you a true story and example.  We have a chain of pizza selling vendors by the name of “Jashuben na Pizza” in Ahmedabad. They are immensely popular. And I would say it to the extent that, if there is a stall of Jashuben na Pizza near Pizza Hut, it is 100% surety that an Amdavadi would go for Jashuben na Pizza and not Pizza Hut. Jashuben who is no more, she passed away in Pune before 8 years, left a legacy of its Pizza with her hard work and has a huge market in the city of Ahmedabad.

 

3.    Have you ever been to a Fiver Star Hotel? If not, then just be to it. You will find a Food menu which will have Salads, Milkshakes, Dahi (Curd) and all. But you will never find the brand of that Dahi or Milkshake or Salad. You will not find Amul or Mother Dairy written against the Dahi. But you will find PAPAD which will be written as LIJJAT PAPAD. I have marked it. When you go next time, just mark it. I would urge all reading this to study about LIJJAT PAPAD. What is it? It is a consortium of tribal based Adivasi and uneducated women in the state of Gujarat which has started the idea of LIJJAT PAPAD. They started with the initial investment of Rs. 80/- and now they sell Papad worth Millions and Billions across the world. The whole administration is run by women and has turned into a cooperative society.

 

4.    In a village near a city in Gujarat, a group of some 20 odd women gathered together and formed a company by collecting their savings, got some grant from Government and some Bank Loan. They got themselves into service sector and presented themselves as Servers in events like Weddings, Gathering. Just by their serving itself, the expenditure of Food of events and waste of food got a considerable deduction.

 

I have seen in some houses when a father and his son are talking about some business stuff and the wife comes to give tea, then both of them stop talking and ask her to leave the place. We do not involve the other gender. I think our country’s economy shall boom up to 40-50% if women become equal partners in the growth. I think the Dairy industry is not just about man working for some brand, but it’s the tireless efforts of Women across the villages which makes a brand like AMUL in the world.

So this is a Power of Women. We just need to include them in our Decision making process. And that will help us make our country flourishing and nourishing. We know that there are Income Tax benefits for companies engaged in Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR). We should thrive towards handing that segment of the companies to Women of the group.

There are so many religions in which the female gender is not allowed to pursue higher education. Some religions have restricted the female’s education for some selected courses. Some religion do not allow their female population to work for a living because it is not safe for them. Albeit, what I think is let the women study and work and include them in the decision making process. And I am sure that we would not need another Women’s Day celebration. Just respect them and treat them equally and I am sure we won’t need reservations for women anymore and my country, our country would make it to the sky one day.

 

Happy Women’s Day…!!! May God Bless All…!!!

Sunday, 25 October 2015

11 T’s of Successful Relationships…!!!



T1 for Taqwa- the foundation of a successful marriage. Faith in GOD allow both persons to live in Harmony.
T2 for Trust- Don't allow any room for your spouse to Doubt you and give them some Personal Space.
T3 is for Tongue - Control your tongue when speaking to your spouse. Don't speak rudely.

T
4 is for Talk - Communicate with your spouse regularly. Let them know your feelings.

T
5 is for Time - Make time to spend with your spouse, and realise that your life timetable has to change once you're married.

T
6 is for Tea - Make sure you eat and drink together at the same time as this creates love between 2 people

T
7 is for Tolerance - Nobody is perfect, but look at the good qualities in your spouse and tolerate the bad with patience

T
8 is for Technology - Technology can make or break a relationship. Don't allow it to become the third person in the relationship.

T
9 is for Trouble makers - Don't allow the rumours and comments of others spoil the harmony between you and your partner

T
10 is for Temper - this is one of biggest reasons behind marriages breaking. Control your anger with your spouse.

T
11 is for Tahajjud - Pray together, and encourage each other to do good deeds

(Excerpts from the speech from Dr. Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin)

Friday, 18 September 2015

Buy Experiences, Not Things...!!!



James Hablin

Forty-seven percent of the time, the average mind is wandering. It wanders about a third of the time while a person is reading, talking with other people, or taking care of children. It wanders 10 percent of the time, even, during sex. And that wandering, according to psychologist Matthew Killingsworth, is not good for well-being. A mind belongs in one place. During his training at Harvard, Killingsworth compiled those numbers and built a scientific case for every cliché about living in the moment. In a 2010 Science paper co-authored with psychology professor Daniel Gilbert, the two wrote that "a wandering mind is an unhappy mind."

For Killingsworth, happiness is in the content of moment-to-moment experiences. Nothing material is intrinsically valuable, except in whatever promise of happiness it carries. Satisfaction in owning a thing does not have to come during the moment it's acquired, of course. It can come as anticipation or nostalgic longing. Overall, though, the achievement of the human brain to contemplate events past and future at great, tedious length has, these psychologists believe, come at the expense of happiness. Minds tend to wander to dark, not whimsical, places. Unless that mind has something exciting to anticipate or sweet to remember.

Over the past decade, an abundance of psychology research has shown that experiences bring people more happiness than do possessions. The idea that experiential purchases are more satisfying than material purchases has long been the domain of Cornell psychology professor Thomas Gilovich. Since 2003, he has been trying to figure out exactly how and why experiential purchases are so much better than material purchases. In the journal Psychological Science last month, Gilovich and Killingsworth, along with Cornell doctoral candidate Amit Kumar, expanded on the current understanding that spending money on experiences "provide[s] more enduring happiness." They looked specifically at anticipation as a driver of that happiness; whether the benefit of spending money on an experience accrues before the purchase has been made, in addition to after. And, yes, it does.

Essentially, when you can't live in a moment, they say, it's best to live in anticipation of an experience. Experiential purchases like trips, concerts, movies, et cetera, tend to trump material purchases because the utility of buying anything really starts accruing before you buy it.
Waiting for an experience apparently elicits more happiness and excitement than waiting for a material good (and more "pleasantness" too—an eerie metric). By contrast, waiting for a possession is more likely fraught with impatience than anticipation. "You can think about waiting for a delicious meal at a nice restaurant or looking forward to a vacation," Kumar told me, "and how different that feels from waiting for, say, your pre-ordered iPhone to arrive. Or when the two-day shipping on Amazon Prime doesn’t seem fast enough."

Gilovich's prior work has shown that experiences tend to make people happier because they are less likely to measure the value of their experiences by comparing them to those of others. For example, Gilbert and company note in their new paper, many people are unsure if they would rather have a high salary that is lower than that of their peers, or a lower salary that is higher than that of their peers. With an experiential good like vacation, that dilemma doesn't hold. Would you rather have two weeks of vacation when your peers only get one? Or four weeks when your peers get eight? People choose four weeks with little hesitation.

Experiential purchases are also more associated with identity, connection, and social behavior. Looking back on purchases made, experiences make people happier than do possessions. It's kind of counter to the logic that if you pay for an experience, like a vacation, it will be over and gone; but if you buy a tangible thing, a couch, at least you'll have it for a long time. Actually most of us have a pretty intense capacity for tolerance, or hedonic adaptation, where we stop appreciating things to which we're constantly exposed. iPhones, clothes, couches, et cetera, just become background. They deteriorate or become obsolete. It's the fleetingness of experiential purchases that endears us to them. Either they're not around long enough to become imperfect, or they are imperfect, but our memories and stories of them get sweet with time. Even a bad experience becomes a good story.

When it rains through a beach vacation, as Kumar put it, "People will say, well, you know, we stayed in and we played board games and it was a great family bonding experience or something." Even if it was negative in the moment, it becomes positive after the fact. That's a lot harder to do with material purchases because they're right there in front of you. "When my Macbook has the colorful pinwheel show up," he said, "I can't say, well, at least my computer is malfunctioning!"

"At least my computer and I get to spend more time together because it's working so slowly," I offered.
"Yes, exactly."
"Maybe we should destroy our material possessions at their peak, so they will live on in an idealized state in our memories?"
"I don't know if I'd go that far," he said. "The possibility of making material purchases more experiential is sort of interesting."

That means making purchasing an experience, which is terrible marketing-speak, but in practical terms might mean buying something on a special occasion or on vacation or while wearing a truly unique hat. Or tying that purchase to subsequent social interaction. Buy this and you can talk about buying it, and people will talk about you because you have it.

"Turns out people don't like hearing about other people's possessions very much," Kumar said, "but they do like hearing about that time you saw Vampire Weekend."

I can't imagine ever wanting to hear about someone seeing Vampire Weekend, but I get the point. Reasonable people are just more likely to talk about their experiential purchases than their material purchases. It's a nidus for social connection. ("What did you do this weekend?" "Well! I'm so glad you asked ... ")

The most interesting part of the new research, to Kumar, was the part that "implies that there might be notable real-world consequences to this study." It involved analysis of news stories about people waiting in long lines to make a consumer transaction. Those waiting for experiences were in better moods than those waiting for material goods. "You read these stories about people rioting, pepper-spraying, treating each other badly when they have to wait," he said. It turns out, those sorts of stories are much more likely to occur when people are waiting to acquire a possession than an experience. When people are waiting to get concert tickets or in line at a new food truck, their moods tend to be much more positive.

Even a bad experience becomes a good story.

"There are actually instances of positivity when people are waiting for experiences," Kumar said, like talking to other people in the concert line about what songs Vampire Weekend might play. So there is opportunity to connect with other people. "We know that social interaction is one of the most important determinants of human happiness, so if people are talking with each other, being nice to one another in the line, it's going to be a lot more pleasant experience than if they're being mean to each other which is what's (more) likely to happen when people are waiting for material goods."

Research has also found that people tend to be more generous to others when they've just thought about an experiential purchase as opposed to a material purchase. They're also more likely to pursue social activities. So, buying those plane tickets is good for society. (Of course, maximal good to society and personal happiness comes from pursuing not happiness but meaning. All of this behavioral economics-happiness research probably assumes you've already given away 99 percent of your income to things bigger than yourself, and there's just a very modest amount left to maximally utilize.)

What is it about the nature of imagining experiential purchases that's different from thinking about future material purchases? The most interesting hypothesis is that you can imagine all sort of possibilities for what an experience is going to be. "That's what'sfun," Kumar said. "It could turn out a whole host of ways." With a material possession, you kind of know what you're going to get. Instead of whetting your appetite by imagining various outcomes, Kumar put it, people sort of think, Just give it to me now.
It could turn out that to get the maximum utility out of an experiential purchase, it's really best to plan far in advance. Savoring future consumption for days, weeks, years only makes the experience more valuable. It definitely trumps impulse buying, where that anticipation is completely squandered. (Never impulse-buy anything ever.)

That sort of benefit would likely be a lot stronger in an optimistic person as opposed to a pessimistic person. Some people hate surprises. Some people don't anticipate experiences because they dwell on what could—no, will—go wrong. But we needn't dwell in their heads. Everyone can decide on the right mix of material and experiential consumption to maximize their well-being. The broader implications, according to Gilovich in a press statement, are that "well-being can be advanced by providing infrastructure that affords experiences, such as parks, trails, and beaches, as much as it does material consumption." Or at least the promise of that infrastructure, so we can all look forward to using it. And when our minds wander, that's where they'll go.